Thursday, August 11, 2011

Ol' Uncle Adam Goes To The Movies!: "Cowboys & Aliens"

Cowboys and Aliens Original Movie Poster Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig
  This movie fucking SUCKED. I'm not gonna beat around any bushes or anything. I'm just gonna lay it out for you straight: LAMENESS.

 For a concept that had so much potential for so much more, Favreau goes for the bare minimum with this cliche-riddle shit-fest. The aliens are nothing new at all, Harrison Ford plays the same tough-as-nails-I-have-no-feelings-but-I-will-at-the-end shitty quasi-bad guy, Daniel Craig tries to not sound like Liam Neeson in Next Of Kin and fails, Sam Rockwell's character could've been played by anybody at all, and Olivia Wilde is involved in one of the dumbest fucking plot "twists" since the last ticket-pushing buttfuck Shyamalan squeezed out of his overrated asshole. That's pretty much it. That covers it. Independence Day's stupidity with a different wardrobe and minus the excitement. It's like Hollywood ate a big bowl of old spaghetti westerns with a side of B-movie space invasion thrillers and shit out this fuckin doodoo mashup. Skip it. I'm not even gonna score this kaka, but speaking of kaka....Instead of adding collector's items related to the film below my review, I've decided to offer you something a little different this time. These are things that this movie reminds me of. Enjoy!

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